Shores Family Journey

"The Day I Met You"

When people think of adoption, they typically think of the child. Albeit this is an appropriate focus, today my heart was on someone else-our birth mother. Today is our anniversary of meeting her. We knew that she was a very private person based on the information that we had received, so that information intensified our already anxious hearts!

Our birth mother’s case worker introduced the birth mother to us and facilitated the initial meeting. Sensitive information such as the birthing process, newborn care, and names were discussed. Praise God that Christian Homes holds such a meeting. Can you imagine discussing these sensitive issues without having a case worker who is trained in working with birth families? I can’t even. This meeting raised my level of respect for Christian Homes as we attempted to convey our thoughts to and with a woman that could have a lasting impact on our family for eternity.

Our birth mother couldn’t have been more humble. During the meeting, her only focus was to ensure that we and the baby {Benjamin} would get everything we needed. My faith had never been challenged like this before. You hear from spiritual leaders and mentors about getting out of your comfort zone and developing relationships with those who aren’t like us. All of those spiritual thoughts were brought about, full circle, in that meeting. I had no idea what to say or how to react. I just prayed over and over again “please don’t let me say something wrong.” God delivered all three of us through and out of that meeting with laughter, tears, and positive messages.

I had been told by others that God was faithful and present in our adoption journey, but I didn’t realize how until we met our birth mother. This meeting is what helped me see the picture that God had started to paint for Benjamin. Our adoption was one of the most beautiful and painful experiences in my life. Our birth mother didn’t “give Benjamin up.” She CHOSE us as the ones to fulfill her dreams for Benjamin. That honor will never be lost on me.  I will forever treasure those moments where she and I laughed, cried, and talked together about how our lives will be forever connected. I reassured her that Benjamin will always know what sort of loving mother she was. I am thankful that I can tell Benjamin about how his mother taught us to swaddle him…how she loved the wubanub that we had picked out for him…how she smiled at his “going home outfit.” Not every adoptive family gets those experiences, and I believe we did because God led us to a humble, selfless birth mother whose focus was loving her child.

I think about her often. I pray that God has put people in her life to encourage her and guide her. I pray that she always knows that the darkness has not overcome the light (John 1:5-one of my favorite verses)! As we approach Benjamin’s birthday, I wish she could see him. I hope that she would be proud. I know we are.

The experience we had with Christian Homes and our birth mother is what has led us to adopt…again! The first year has been more of a struggle than I expected (more on that in a different blog).  That being said, we still believe that adoption is how we should answer God’s command to make disciples, support the broken hearted, and encourage the spiritually weary. We can’t rush through the documentation and procedures like we did at the beginning of Benjamin’s adoption process. After Joel and I discussed how this next adoption could affect our marriage, family, and jobs, we decided that going slower is better. That way, we can hopefully grow our family with a healthy rhythm, allowing us to still do what we are doing now. We can’t wait to see what God has in store for our family!